Saturday, May 8, 2021

As always….. and another life update

 As I suspected, and as always, I have forgotten to get back in my blog and do any updating. It’s been a long time since my last post and so much has happened. I don’t want to get into a ton of details today, as I’ll probably save all that for individual posts. I would like to however, update you all on what’s been going on with my art and life as of late. 

I haven’t really done much. I tried getting back into it, and offering pet portraits and yet not getting much work. I have debated with myself on trying to start some children’s book or something to get out of my normal kind of work. It seems it’s not getting anywhere and is making me feel that traditional art is just not respected in today’s world of technology. I think it’s time I moved on and found another artistic way to make a living. I’m struggling to figure out what that could be. I’m tired of this continuous job searching my whole life, ending up with shitty jobs that at first start out ok, but end up screwing me over in the end. Regular jobs just don’t work for me. I can’t find anything to stick to, and places don’t seem to like the hard work I put in or to help train me in areas I need it. I’m fed up with how the world is today in the job market. I wish I could find something worth doing for the rest of my life.

That being said, I’d also like to update a little on where I’ve been in my personal life. Over the last 6 years since my last post, I had a big struggle with my life and where I was at. The person I was with turned out to be horrible. I ended up is deep depression and a lot of stress, causing me to lose touch with art all together and I was miserable. I might make a post on this separately one day when I feel I’m ready to. Last summer, I finally was able to move out and back up to where my parents are at. I found an apartment in the next town over and started my life over again, with just me and my cat. I found a job, but it didn’t go well. Last year was when the COVID pandemic started, causing tons of businesses to shut down and minimize how many employees they had. As they thought the virus was slowing down, the state started opening up and being active again. My job had hired me on to train for a position I didn’t actually apply for. But I tried anyway. Only 3 weeks in and the manager was trying to tell me that the job wasn’t for me. I had ended up in a 6 week strep illness that caused them to let me go anyway. 

Besides the struggle for work, I was doing ok. Mentally struggling to feel safe again, I took morning walks to the park to get fresh air and see the pretty sites. I was working on gaining my life back into control. I was about to start therapy to manage my horribly active anxiety due to my past, and get things going better. Over the course of that summer, I went on some nice trips with my friend Sarah who helped me get through the past experiences and thoughts that haunted my brain. I knew that even though I filed a PPO against my ex, I was still feeling the effects of his harm mentally. She shared her similar story and we talked a lot about what we went though and kind of helped each other feel better. Those trips were well needed. 

As the summer came to a close, and November to an end, my strep had finally quit and run its course through my body and I was finally beginning to feel better. In higher spirits, I searched for work from home jobs, and found one that I was going to try. It was selling health and weight loss products which I thought would be great, as I was working on getting my health back together. Not soon after I started the job, I was posting about some weight loss coffee, and made a poll on Facebook to gain some viewers and attention. Here and there people would comment or like the post. The next day I was notified that there was a vote on my poll for the coffee, so as instructed, I reached out to this person to ask if they were in fact interested in trying a sample. Funny thing, is that he looked familiar and couldn’t put my finger on how. We talked in business for a bit, as I was setting up his sample to be sent out. But little did I know, that wasn’t the end of our chat.

After I had his sample set up to be sent out, we kept talking. He asked me how I was doing and if I remembered who he was. As my childhood past doesn’t come to me very well, I had to ask him to remind me who he was. He sent a photo of the young boy who grew up behind my parents house as a kid. I couldn’t believe it. I remembered then, who he was and we both got excited and very chatty as we caught up after all those years. He had moved away sometime in middle school, but we had gone to elementary school and most of middle school together. It was crazy to catch up with someone I hadn’t seen in so long. Anyway, after days of playing catch up, we finally hung out and got to talk in person. It was great, felt like we connected so well. To save this whole story for those who may want to know, I’ll just cut to the simple facts.

We hit it off pretty good, and ended up dating. After a few months. We found a place to move into together and started a life that little did we know, would start out so well. Now it’s may of 2021, and we’re engaged to get married this summer in august, and also expecting a baby by the end of the year! I can’t believe how everything fell together the way it did. We both had a rough past, and even though he spent most of his adult years out of state, he had recently come back to Michigan around the same time I moved back up north. It’s like fate had brought us together. We both couldn’t be more happy, and we cannot wait for what life brings us from here on out. 

Another thing I’d like to point out, is that because of him, I will be having my last therapy session next week. I ended therapy early, because he has helped me in so many ways, and I no longer feel worried about what will happen, and my anxiety is not bad anymore. I thank him everyday for being in my life. 

Well, I’ve made a really long post. Hopefully it’s enough for all of you for now. And as I always say, I will try to update this blog more often, but no guarantees. I’m so forgetful. But I will try. I hope that maybe sometime my blog will have some good content that I can get some viewers and maybe land some kind of freelance writing or something. Distant hopes I guess lol. Next time I post, I will share the links to my new pages for you to follow. So long for now.